According to our latest Fractal Fairy Tale, we’ve been deceived about what’s REAL.
It’s not MATTER—our physical bodies, possessions, and everything else we can see and touch—but the invisible field of energy coordinating the whole show.
So, with that in mind, here’s what today’s scan flagged as a top priority for de-stressing:
PHYSICAL: Infection + fluid/lymph stagnation
We’re taking 16 hours in the P4 related to this, plus 3 hours in the pathogen panel.
And now—for those of you in the mood for a little more craziness—here’s the next segment of:
THE GREAT ROYAL RECALL
(Remember, you were warned. I’m still not entirely sure where this one is going!)
MEET THE DONKEY
Brayden slowly walked out of S.A.S.S. Health Clinic — Specialized Assessment & Support Services.
For months, he had known something was wrong.
He just felt…
hollow.
For starters, herd activities no longer appealed to him.
The screens that had absolutely been mesmerizing—the endless cell phone scrolling, YouTube, movies, and nightly streaming–had stopped giving him any satisfaction.
In fact, he had turned them off.
Instead, Brayden had started experiencing long stretches of silence.
Thinking about his life, which, in all fairness, wasn’t bad at all.
He was a highly successful—and highly respected—Senior Optimization Executive for a giant company called HerdTech Asses.
His job was to make systems faster and workers more productive.
He was very good at it.
He had retirement accounts. Investments. Excellent insurance.
He had been married for 22 years to a lovely, capable donkey named Belle.
They didn’t fight much.
They didn’t really talk much either, except about bills, their children, and what was streaming that night.
Speaking of children…they had two grown foals.
One still lived in the basement.
The other was out running with the herd in a way that made them proud.
A degree was forthcoming: B.A.S.S. — Bachelor of Applied Social Sciences.
They had a beautiful house in one of the nicest sections of the kingdom. Perfect lawn. Fully equipped stable. Updated kitchen. Enormous screens in every room.
On the surface…
Brayden had done everything right.
It was his health.
Something just wasn’t right.
And now he finally had a diagnosis:
PROGRESSIVE CEREBRAL HOLLOWING SYNDROME
“You aren’t alone,” Dr. Cassius Bray, Chief Neurological Assessor, was saying as Brayden sat in stunned silence.
“This appears to be an epidemic.”
Brayden stared at him.
“An epidemic?”
Dr. Bray nodded gravely.
“Portions of the brain begin to…empty out.”
He tapped the scan.
“We’ve never seen anything quite like it before.”
“In your case, there are entire sections of your brain where the usual donkey thoughts are simply…gone.”
Brayden swallowed.
“What’s replacing them?”
Dr. Bray looked at him.
“That’s the problem.”
“Nothing.”
But Brayden wasn’t ready to tell Dr. Bray what had really been happening.
The previous week, he had been sitting alone in the backyard, trying to understand the hollow feeling.
And then—the sky seemed to open.
The ground beneath him shook.
And standing directly in front of him was a donkey.
Except…for one impossible second…the donkey became a human wearing a crown.
Then—just as quickly—it became a donkey again.
Brayden tried not to keep thinking about this.
Instead, he focused on Dr. Bray, who was now reviewing the treatment plan.
It was extensive.
PHASE 1: CEREBRAL RE-FILLING INFUSIONS
Weekly bags of a proprietary fluid called NeuroFill™, supposedly designed to “replace what the brain has lost.” $4,800 per infusion.
PHASE 2: HEE-HAW COGNITIVE REINFORCEMENT THERAPY
Three sessions per week.
Brayden would sit in a room wearing headphones and repeat approved statements hundreds of times so the empty cerebral spaces did not become occupied by unauthorized thoughts.
$1,000 per session.
PHASE 3: CRANIAL DENSITY ENHANCEMENT
A specialized machine would beam therapeutic signals—in the form of highly advanced blinking lights—through Brayden’s skull.
$100 per minute.
PHASE 4: PHARMACEUTICAL THOUGHT STABILIZERS
One medication for the hollow feeling.
Another for the anxiety caused by the hollow feeling.
Another for the insomnia caused by the first two medications.
And a fourth for worrying about the bills.
Covered by insurance.
Brayden felt relieved.
Finally, some good news.
PHASE 5: PREVENTIVE THOUGHT SUPPRESSION
Because independent thinking was considered a possible complication of Cerebral Hollowing, Brayden was advised to avoid: Silence. Meditation. Long walks. Staring at stars. Questioning authority.
And excessive periods of time without a screen.
NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE.
PHASE 6: EXPERIMENTAL BRAIN PACKING
A cutting-edge procedure in which doctors would attempt to fill cerebral areas with approved informational material.
News. Advertising. Expert commentary. Productivity podcasts. Financial advice.Sports statistics.
And breaking alerts.
ALREADY IN PROGRESS
PHASE 7: PREMIUM NEURO-RESTORATION RETREAT
Two weeks at an exclusive treatment facility where Brayden would receive:
Organic hay. Therapeutic hoof massage. Guided Hee-Haw circles.
And twice-daily seminars titled:
ACCEPTING YOUR DIAGNOSIS WITHOUT ASKING UNHELPFUL QUESTIONS.
Cost:
Deed to house.
PHASE 8: MAINTENANCE FOR LIFE
Monthly monitoring would be required indefinitely.
Brayden looked up.
“How many donkeys with Progressive Cerebral Hollowing Syndrome have actually recovered?”
Dr. Bray shifted in his chair.
“Recovered is a rather outdated word.”
A small Hee-Haw slipped out of Brayden before he could stop it.
“How many?”
Dr. Bray studied the chart.
“Well…”
Brayden waited.
“None.”
Brayden blinked.
“Then why am I doing all this?”
Dr. Bray brightened.
“Because untreated donkeys did even worse.”
“How much worse?”
Dr. Bray flipped through several pages.
“We haven’t actually studied them.”
An appointment was made for the next morning with S.A.S.S. Financial Services, where Brayden would learn the most efficient way to surrender what he had spent his life accumulating.
He left the clinic and began the long trek toward the subway.
He’d almost reached the stairs when something brushed against one of his hooves.
He stopped.
Looked down.
A black cat.
Golden eyes.
Then the cat spoke.
“My name is Barbelo.”
“Great”, thought Brayden
Another hallucination
“After your meeting with Financial Services tomorrow, meet me here.”
The cat turned and disappeared into the crowd.
Then, without looking back, she called:
“I’ll be waiting.”
